Basement Jack - 08 June 2011

A harsh truth: The independents' day is done

When you strip away the romance and nostalgia, there's a lot about the independent retail sector that is total and utter bobbins, writes Basement Jack.

How many of you would walk right past an independent retailer to get to a big-brand multiple that ostensibly sold the same products? Admit it, you would; and I would, too. I just can't face the retail Russian roulette on quality, safety, sell-by date, returns policy and service that venturing 'off-piste' can so often deliver. Okay, okay, so you may be among the number who know a 'fantastic little local store', well good for you, have yourself a biscuit. Yours is one of the exceptions that proves the rule: the independent sector needs a massive overhaul to avoid seeing further demolition of its market share.

If you asked a random selection of Brits what the term 'independent retailer' brought to mind, chances are your responses would fall into two broad groups:

  • skilled, artisan retailers plying their honest, high-quality trade - like the toy-maker Geppetto from Pinocchio;
  • tatty mini-marts run by TV-watching Del Boys, offering a random mix of goods both familiar and obscure, foreign and domestic. It's the home of the separately-sold multi-pack can of Bulgarian Coke and plain-packed, low-quality homewares that look like someone has emptied out a huge batch of particularly disappointing Christmas cracker prizes onto the shelves. Ahem...and breathe.

As ever with broad generalisations, the truth lies somewhere in-between. That said, would many modern-day parents actually buy their kids presents from an independent toy retailer such as good old Geppetto? Could they rely on the fact that the product had been properly quality tested? Could they be assured that the eyes aren't a choke hazard, the paint's not poisonous, the fur's not flammable, etc., etc.? Doubtful. And their kids wouldn't thank them for failing to buy the latest playground 'must have' - even if their purchase did come to life and teach important lessons about truthfulness.

A criticism frequently levelled at retail multiples, particularly when comparisons are being drawn with independents, is the lack of friendly, knowledgeable customer service. There's little argument here that among the millions of retail folk shuffling the sales floors of the big chains there are some inert, apathetic, surly wastrels. But is the independent sector, with all its specialist knowledge, any better? From personal experience, not even slightly...and this is a problem because if a store is going to charge more than its competitor then it needs to provide something extra.

Witness my repeatedly crushed expectations at the hands of a local hardware store that professes to remain "small enough to care". While it is indeed small, it very evidently couldn't care less. Now I have a bit of a blind-spot where hardware stores are concerned; I love them and it is pretty much impossible for me to leave one without having bought something. Due to this love I've somehow become the Charlie Brown of hardware retailing, with this local shop playing the role of Lucy. On four separate occasions over the last six months or so I've entered the emporium hoping beyond hope that (like Charlie Brown wanting to kick the football) this time I'll get both the product I need and the warm, home-spun Happy Days know-how I crave. On each occasion my hopes were dashed, Lucy pulled the ball away and I was left flat on my back wondering why the hell I'd bothered in the first place. In fact Lucy was a proper bitch.

Let's try a little role-play. You are a sales assistant in a hardware store, a customer asks whether or not you sell sheets of perspex with which he might replace his shed windows. Do you:

a) Double-check with your manager before regretfully reporting you are unable to help?

b) Apologise that you do not stock the item but suggest an alternative store?

c) Mumble "No" before looking over the customer's shoulder to the person behind him in the queue?

Scenario 2: a customer approaches the sales desk carrying three plastic kids' chairs and enquires whether you have any more or any other colours. Do you:

a) Double-check the stock room before regretfully reporting you are unable to help?

b) Apologise that you do not have more at present but advise when more might be delivered?

c) Look witheringly at the items, immediately say "No" while simultaneously shooting a contemptuous "can-you-believe-this-a**ehole" glance at a colleague?

Option 'C' proved the popular choice.

It took a huge amount of self-control not to utilise the shiny, new sledgehammer hanging from the wall just inches from my hand for some impromptu visual merchandising of my own. I mean really, it's one thing to offer mediocre customer service but this place seems to employ people who live to be abusive. Unless its customer base enjoys this approach a store with a 60-year history is going to go the way of the Betamax.

People have very little time and increasingly little money in 2011 Britain and thus will flock to stores offering the easiest experience, the best prices and least amount of a**e-ache. Multiples generally offer an assured base level of product quality, formalised returns policies and very often lower prices. What they often lack is personality and expert advice - this is supposed to be the province of the independent. Without it all you're left with is less choice, higher prices and crappy service. In the words of Mr C. Sheen: "Winning".

If you'd like to comment on any of Jack's article or share rant about something that irritates you, email editorial@theappointment.co.uk. It might tempt him out of the cupboard, and maybe he'll write about what annoys you!